Real women have brains

"Real women have curves." Seriously?

I am a size zero. 

I am college educated.

I am an attentive mother.

I am a loving wife.

I am a loyal friend.

I am a size zero.

I am not a "real woman."

Since when does bust size determine how much of a woman someone is? 

Isn't a woman ambitious? Smart? Loving? Why does our culture feel the need to constantly judge us based on our appearance? I have given birth. I've nourished my baby exclusively with the milk from my breasts. I am a faithful wife and a woman of substance. I am a woman! (hear me roar)

I don't love my bones, but I want to. I want to take pride in my healthy, lean body. I want to be told I'm beautiful, not that I "need to eat a cheeseburger." I think it's time for us to re-evaluate what we consider "beautiful" instead of spreading hate because someone looks different than us.

I'm a blogger?

I've spent the entire month of January surprising myself. This is weird, as I've been living the majority of my life inside a Kasey-shaped box; one that doesn't question, doesn't reflect on my decisions, and certainly doesn't change her mind. Ever since Charlie was born, though, I've found myself consistently thinking "really? This is who I am?" I guess becoming a parent will do that to you. It's refreshing, though; becoming the person you truly are, instead of basing decisions on what others tell you is right. Here are some examples of things I've changed my mind on:

Breastfeeding: Breastfeeding freaked.me.out before I had kids. "What? my baby is going to suck on my nipple? you love breastfeeding? you're such a pervert!" I'm glad I have immense mommy-guilt, because if it weren't for that, I wouldn't have even given nursing a shot. I have to admit, it took a little bit to get used to. It felt awkward at first, -insert mommy guilt-, but I kept going. After a couple months it started to feel easy, natural, and so very special. Hell, I've even gone as far as calling myself a "lactivist."Further on the breastfeeding subject- nursing in public. "What? cover up! I do not want to see your boob! Pervert." Ha! Becoming a mom has made me realize it was me that was the pervert.

Co-sleeping: I don't do it, but I know many moms who do. Before having kids, I was appalled at the idea of having a "family bed." Now I totally get it. Who wouldn't want to snuggle their perfect little bean all night? And especially in the case where the baby won't sleep anywhere but in their parent's arms. I was blessed with a very good independent sleeper, but the first few weeks were tough. I don't blame those mommies one bit for wanting to get some sleep! (for safe co-sleeping guidelines, click here)

Spanking: I remember telling my husband when I was pregnant "We will be spanking our children." Now when I think about that day, I shudder a little. My mentality was- I was spanked, and I turned out fine. Kids deserve it sometimes! (By the way, the "I turned out fine" excuse drives me nuts. I can't believe that is how I rationalized things "back then"). When I became a mom and started to actually think about how I will discipline my children, spanking just didn't make sense to me. What am I teaching him? That hitting is ok? To fear me? I think I'll spend some time coming up with more creative discipline (more on this in future posts :)). And for the record, I'm not judging those who believe spanking is beneficial. Unless the only reason you do it is out of mere frustration- in that case, I am judging you. 

TV: "My child will not watch tv until he's 2 years old, because that's what the American Association of Pediatrics recommends!" Ha! What a bunch of boloney. My kid loves disney junior, and I love getting things done around the house (or showering, let's be real). I'll just leave it at that.

Church: Let me preface this by saying that I've pretty much always been a church-goer. But since I've been married, finding a church in our area has for some reason been put on the back-burner. We've tried a few different ones and have done the obligatory Christmas & Easter service, but hadn't taken the time to find a church that feels like "ours." Having kids made me realize even more that I do not want him to grow up without that foundation in his life. It is my mission this year to find a church that we love.

There are probably more. One time, I let my son sleep in the boppy. I was desperate for some sleep and he was right next to me. Once, I let him sleep in his carseat. I fed him solids before 4 months. I didn't circumcise. I've done tons of things that I used to judge parents for doing. This year, I've learned to "never say never" when it comes to parenting.