Our Date Jar

There are a lot of things I'm passionate about, but my man definitely tops that list. He is hardworking, smart, and understanding. He never takes me for granted, and I love nothing more than building our marriage and strengthening our bond. This year for Valentines Day, I decided to make a "date jar." I've seen a lot of variations on the "date jar," but I wanted to share ours. There are 5 categories, and one for every week of the year (there are a couple duplicates): 

1. Home dates
2. $$ with Charlie
3. $$ without Charlie
4. Free with Charlie
5. Free without Charlie

Home Dates: There are the most in this category since we're homebodies at heart, and because we can easily do them without lugging Charlie out. Some of them cost money, and some of them are free. 

• spa night- go to the store and get the stuff for facials, pedicures, massages & pamper each other!
• watch a new netflix show- pick the weirdest looking show and watch it together
• theme night- pick a theme and stick with it the entire night. An example would be Mexican! eat tacos, wear sombreros, and watch....... a Mexican movie? Ha! I guess I don't even know of any.
• make sundaes
• pajama party- get in your pajamas, make a pallet on the floor, eat popcorn, and watch movies.
• floor candle picnic- get everything together as if you're going on a picnic, but have it on your living room floor!
• have a bonfire- roast s'mores!
• create a blog video- it's all for you, folks.
• bring goodies to a nursing home- bake cookies, and deliver to the nearest nursing home. aww.
• make pizzas
• get take out & play board games
• youtube video date- 2.5 hours of laughter.
• make a music video- probably spice girls.
• build a fort & watch a movie- I think Ryan's most excited about this one.
• have a cook-off- either buy the ingredients for each other, or have a limit on number of ingredients you may use in your dish. Have a family member judge.
• make a bucket list
• fondue night
• deliver an anonymous gift- pick someone and gift them something anonymously. I'm sure you know someone who needs something!
• create a commercial, film it, and put it on your blog :) 
• make breakfast for dinner & eat it in bed
• Duffy olympics- once a year we do this. We make up games and compete in a Duffy Olympics. It gets pretty heated.

These dates cost money, and we can bring Charlie:

• go to a local bakery
• try a new restaurant- something other than the sub shop we frequent
• kasey's choice- awwwww yeah.
• ryan's choice- I see video games and chicken finger subs in my future.
• spot coffee
• seasonal date- if it's winter, go sledding. Summer? have a picnic or go to the beach.
• dessert only date

These dates cost money, and we'd need a babysitter: 

• look in the gusto & pick an activity- pick an event in your city for that day.
• bowling
• laser tag- Ryan thinks it'll be funny to watch me do this. I'll show him.
• ice skating
• take the parents to dinner
• arcade
• go out for a drink
• go to the thrift store- give each other $10 and see who can find the best item.
• skyzone
• $1 theater

These dates are free, and we can bring Charlie:

• leave random notes around town- inspirational notes or funny notes. Probably a little bit of both.
• visit Mimi & Papa
• bring dinner to the lake
• go for a walk
• applebees- we have a gift card
• chestnut ridge
• get dressed up and go to dinner
• make dinner for Ryan's parents

These dates are free, and we'd need a babysitter:

• mulberries- we have a gift card :)
• olive garden- yup. gift card. 
• movie theater

< This is how we can tell which category we're choosing from. One of the sticks has a penny glued to the top. We pick that stick up, choose the category we want, and pick one of that color!

Happy Valentines Day, everyone!

So little, so loved

Too Beautiful For Earth

Mila Ross Meyer 9/3/12-9/11/12

This post is dedicated to Mila and her Mother, Samantha Meyer, who will be walking in the March of Dimes. Here is her birth story.

I walk in honor of my daughter, Mila Ross Meyer, who we tragically lost on September 11, 2012. I went into labor at 24 weeks and 3 days. They did everything they could to stop the labor, but I gave birth to my 1 lb 13 oz daughter on September 3rd, 2012 at 16:54, within 9 hours of arriving at the ER. They never found the cause of my labor. It will always remain a mystery. Until that fateful day, I had a textbook perfect pregnancy.

She remained strong in the NICU. The thing that only a NICU parent can understand, however, is how quickly things can take a dark turn. On day 4, Mila had a terrible brain bleed, a grade 4, the most significant an infant can have. On day 8, she had a perforation in her bowels, and it was life threatening. The doctor stressed to us that chances were slim for her to survive this surgery that she needed so badly. He gave us the option to opt for surgery, or to remove life support.

I still to this day do not understand exactly what he told me, all I remember is looking at his grave-stricken face, and seeing the nurses crying behind him. I knew what that day was going to entail before he even spoke. I remember my husband placing his hands on my shoulders behind me as I laid my head on her incubator and began to cry. I knew what we had to do to give our daughter the best life we could. We had to let her go.

I couldn't stand the thought of her leaving this world cold and alone, and so scared. Her dying during surgery was not the way we wanted it. She needed me to hold her, she needed her mother to be there. My husband and I spent 16 hours in that NICU room. And finally, I heard her first, last, and only cry, and she left this world. She was finally pain-free and at peace.

Her strength inspires me everyday to be a better person. She taught both my husband and I how much love our hearts are capable of. We will always love her and miss her, and wish we could have saved her. If we can give just one more baby the chance to survive, and give their parents the greatest gift of all, their child, then I would say we have made our daughter proud. Mila fought so bravely for life, and we honor her by helping other babies win their battles.

Please support Samantha in her walk. Sponsoring her is easy: just click here and click "donate now." The mission of March of Dimes is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality. Thank you for helping her give all babies a healthy start!

Things I don't want to forget about delivery

Delivery. Ouch. There are a bunch of things I do want to forget about that oh-so-painful day. One being the nurse who told me my epidural was working. Excuse me, ARE YOU IN MY BODY? I CAN FEEL EVERYTHING. Another was the amount of "water" that comes out when your water breaks. Why doesn't anyone warn you about that? Ahem, anyways... there are 5 things that I definitely don't want to forget about that day, and I'd like to share them with you!

Our first family photo

1. Charlie's first cry

After 12 hours of labor, and 45 minutes of pushing, nothing was more satisfying than hearing my baby cry for the first time. He was an anxious little guy- he let out his first scream before he was even all the way out! I remember how sweet that little yelp was, and  I started immediately crying as I felt every eye in the room look at me to see my reaction. I have to say, I never really understood when moms would be like "I heard him cry, and I just lost it." I'd be like "uhh, ok? who cares if he cried? I'd just want to hold him." No. It was the most amazing sound I have ever heard. 

2. When he was laid on my chest

When he FINALLY came out, he was immediately laid on my chest. I remember thinking 3 things. 1) Wow, he is really cute. Thank God! 2) This is the most beautiful, blood covered human I've ever laid my eyes on! and 3) LOOK at all that HAIR! (By the way, his beautiful hair is the only reason I was able to keep pushing after what seemed like 3 years. My doctor saying "wow, Kasey! He has SO much hair! he's almost out!............ 30 minutes later............ he's almost out, Kasey! Oh, his beautiful hair!")

     3. The look on my husband's face

After checking out my baby for about 5 seconds and how gorgeous he was, my eyes focused on my husband. That is a sight I never want to forget. Honestly, it's always freaked me out to see men cry. I'm not sure why but sadly, it's true. However, this did not freak me out. When I looked up, I saw my husband looking at our beautiful son. He was uninhibited, crying and smiling at our beautiful miracle. I can still see his face vividly in my mind. I fell more in love with him that day!

4. Our very first time alone

After we had a few minutes to ourselves, I sent Ryan into the waiting room as I knew my mother-in-law was out there worrying her butt off. Ryan left, and it was just us. Me and Charlie, meeting for the first time. I sat there in awe and stared at my beautiful rainbow baby. DID I REALLY CREATE THAT? He is SO perfect. How on earth does he have all the right body parts? 10 fingers? How does that happen? God is so good.

       5. Announcing Charlie's name

There were a couple reasons we kept Charlie's name private until he was born. The first was that since we're impatient petes, we had to find out the gender via ultrasound (actually, I'm the impatient pete. My husband would prefer to wait. yeah right! I needed to know!). We wanted at least one thing to be a surprise. The second reason was because we had our minds made up, and we didn't want people to tell us how much they hated the name "Charles." For some reason if the baby isn't born yet, people feel like they have a say in what you name them. And even if your mind is made up, people have no problem telling you that they once knew a stripper, or a drug dealer, or an annoying kid in high school who had the same name. Keep it to yourself, kids. It's just easier.

Charles August Duffy

Those are the 5 things I never, ever want to forget. Although I've never been in such pain in my life, I wouldn't take it back for anything. In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if this experience can ever be lived up to with our subsequent children

What are your most cherished moments of delivery?